March 21 – April 20: Normally, Ares, I would avoid telling you to avoid things, as it’s not that kind of horoscope. This month, however, I’m going to encourage you to avoid avoidance, if at all possible. You will be rewarded for prompt action. Bonus points for putting out anything that’s been hanging fire. Fire and books do not mix.
April 21 – May 20: People accuse your sign of being lazy, but it is a mistake to see your watching and your planning time as frivolous or wasted. You will see and avoid the pitfalls that will trap those who rush into things. Remember, now is not the time to gloat – you’ll score some serious good karma if you lend a hand to someone who richly deserves a good mocking. Enjoy your schadenfreude in silence. And if that fails, if you can’t say something nice, you can simply email us.
May 21 – June 20: September is the harvest season, where people gather and celebrate the hard work they have done getting ready for the scarce times of winter. Take a page from that book and pat yourself on the back for your accomplishments, Gemini. You may not have a mantle full of awards (yet) but you’ve earned the right to enjoy some rest on your hard-earned laurels. Just make sure no one slipped any poison ivy into said greenery before you sit.
June 21 – July 20: On the other hand, Cancer, you need to get back in the saddle and head out off into the sunset. Whatever you think you’re waiting for – signs and portents or daring rescue – is unfortunately not in the offing. Time to be your own best friend. Don’t despair, though: you won’t have to fly solo for long. You’ll find an unreliable sidekick with a quirky nickname and an broken mode of transport. Good luck.
July 21 – August 20: You’ve packed the kids off to school and the spouse off to work after a well-deserved but somewhat hectic break. It’s tempting to collapse in a heap and watch endless telenovelas. While you can get away with slacking for a day or so, the quicker you get back to your working routine, the quicker you will reap the
awards rewards you deserve. I mean, how much of that high school Spanish really took, anyway?
August 21 – September 20: This is a good month to remember you can’t help other people if your own resources are exhausted: put YOUR oxygen mask on BEFORE you assist your companions. If you can’t take a break and you have to be strong, take special effort to make sure you’re not running on fumes. Today’s frustrating problems make tomorrow’s prize-winning stories. Or at least net you a sympathetic ear when you’re crammed in the middle seat of your next flight to Poughkeepsie.
September 21 – October 20: This month, Libra, try on a different genre. Be overly enthusiastic: write the pulpiest pulp novel, the corniest romance, the most melodramatic biographical essay. If you feel silly about what you’re writing, you’re doing it right! You will return to your usual projects refreshed and un-blocked. Unlike your internet trolls.
October 21 – November 20: You may be tempted right now to make some grand gesture, adopt a radical new hairstyle or philosophy. Pause a moment to consider what it is you need to do that you are avoiding. Not to say you shouldn’t make your big change, just do it with certainty as an action, not a reaction. As we often counsel, just try a stupid hat for a while.
November 21 – December 20: September might be the month you embark on something new and exciting as a main focus. Recognize this as a time of endings as well. Don’t forget to tie up lose ends – endure the exit interview and attend the farewell party. You’ll get a last minute piece of advice that will make everything fall into place. Unless it’s to write your manuscripts in crayon. Don’t do that.
December 21 – January 20: You have a keen eye for contradiction, and a love of correction and correlation – it makes you the fantastic editor you are. This month, try to accept some ambiguity in things. Rather than pinning it all down and sorting it all by type, leave the doors open and the check-boxes un-ticked. You might be pleasantly surprised by what you notice when you ignore the categories for a change. Or you might let in the neighbor’s dog. Give him some cheese and send him home.
January 21 – February 20: No matter how you normally dress to write, Aquarius, try the following experiment: wear what your character would wear. Alternately, dress up for the office or in more formal attire before sitting down to write, especially if you normally work in pajamas. The altered perspective from your change of attire may be just the break you need. We approve top hats as a part of our silly haberdashery program.
February 21 – March 20: September is golden for Pisces this year. Parts of your life are in twilight as they come to a close; better to release them and walk away than try to hang on to them past their time. You’ll be glad you have your agenda cleared when a new opportunity arises. Now would also be a good time to clean out your refrigerator.